All day I’ve been sat here in front of my computer trying to write something clever about tattoos as planned but just couldn’t rap my head around it. Something terrible has happened within the past few weeks and yesterday worst thing possible happened. My best friend (since I was 12 years old)’s mom was diagnosed with cancer in her ovaries, bowels and stomach. She hasn’t even turned 50 yet. It is so unfair. Why does horrible things always happen to good people?
In 2012 I lost my beloved grandfather to cancer. He was sick for about a year and half and I will never forget seeing him turning from the happy and joyful man I knew and loved into basically nothing. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me and my family and it sent me into the toughest time of my life. He had only just turned 67 years old when he died. Now my mom and her brothers have no father, me and my cousins our grandfather and my grandmother lost the love of her life. They had known each other since they were kids. How is people supposed to move on from that?
Somehow you learn how to live with the pain and how to remember all the good things and all the memories you have of this very special person. I still remember how he used to whistle random melodies all the time or the special way he always waved when he saw me standing in the kitchen window. I can still picture the expression on his face when he saw me with my graduation diploma from high school and hear his voice saying “that’s my girl”. I will cherish these memories the rest of my life. But I would much rather have him here with me creating new memories than looking back on the past without him by my side. I wasn’t ready to lose him.
That’s the worst part of cancer. It takes away everything familiar and creates this world filled with concern, sadness and loads of tears. You lose control and all you can do is hope and pray that he or she will pull through and make it. But you never know and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Life just gives you a big fat sucker punch and you just have to accept it like that?!
We don’t get to choose when or how we are leaving this life and before we know it it can happen to us or someone we love dearly. I’ve been there and chances are so have you reading this post. So let’s make sure we tell people how much they mean to us and try to live every single day just a little bit better than yesterday. It isn’t realistic to say we should live every day like it’s our last. But happiness lies in the little things. And today I will tell my parents how much I love them and how much they mean to me whilst I still have the possibility to do so.
I don’t know if my friends’s mom will make it but I am hoping and praying with every fiber of my body that she will. She deserves to live and her family needs her here with them.
I still cry every now and then and that’s okay. It just means that my love for him hasn’t faded and it never will. He will always be in my heart.
Take a moment and just cherish your life as it is right now. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Lots of love,
(P.S. Have you ever lost someone you truly loved? Let me know. Spread the word about your loved one. They deserve to be remembered greatly.)